When your girlfriend can’t go to sleep because she’s so full, that’s probably a good sign you did your job as a cook. Superbowl food this year consisted of Irma’s queso dip and guacamole, beef and buffalo (no, really, as in bison) sliders, homemade corndogs, peanut butter balls, and Irma’s bubble tea. I feel like I’m going to die. I feel like Dr. Venture, and I’ve got a deformed twin nestled inside my belly.

My Good Eats food experiences haven’t been all good so far. The roulade was tough as shoe-leather, the pan-fried chicken smoked up the house, and the sugar cookies didn’t really light my fire. The sliders and corndogs went pretty well, though, and I’m feeling a bit more confident. Right now, though, the thought of food makes me want to kill myself.

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Time to sleep.

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